Happy Birthday Sissy!

I was going write something clever for this blog, similar to something you would see on a Hallmark card

But all I could think of writing were cheesy sayings that rhymed

If you were here a couple weekends ago, when Katie stayed the night, and you shared the brief moments of reading through my old adolescent journals that had nothing but love poems to the boys I thought I loved... you would be glad that I didn't make up any ridiculous poems to attach to thisSo instead I am going to post a few pictures of you

that have people in them that love you

And memories that you will never forget

With family that makes you laugh

and a bratty sister that can never resist throwing in pictures like this even though I know you will hate me for it. You are the one that took it though.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Updates on my studious life

I had to run to my bus stop this morning. It was rather embarrassing, yet I totally deserved it with my prideful thoughts. Usually I walk out my door around 6:10-6:15AM and have a little time to spare upon arriving at the bus-stop. Today, I left my house at 6:19 AM. I should have started running immediately after getting to the street, but was too prideful to do so when two girls came walking onto the same sidewalk with their dog. I didn't want them to see that I was obviously late, when they would observe my head bobbing and unbalanced bag wavering behind me on my back. Instead, I chose to walk briskly. I rounded the corner and what did I see? The bus making it's turn onto the street nearing quickly where I needed to be standing. I bolted as soon as I saw it while praying in my head that he would either 1) drive by me and not see my pathetic self running with great amazon-like effort and thinking to himself "sucka, she should have been there on-time! Maybe next time!" or 2) see my sad, out of shape body running towards him in hopes to find a merciful bus driver await my presence on the bus.

He waited! So did everyone else on the bus. All were staring at me when I boarded and I am sure that they all watched me run a block and a half to join on. I thanked the bus driver for waiting when I arrived... and also when I got off at the U. Maybe I will send in a compliment to UTA regarding this specific driver and acknowledge his compassion for the young straggler Thursday morning...

On another note:

1) School is kicking my trash. I am grateful it is. It is nice to have something to do with my brain outside of work to serve as a distraction from the incessant complaining thoughts that occupy my mind of how terrible my job is when I come home.

2) I am seriously contemplating the philosophies of Henry Thoreau and thinking that his way of life might be really good for me. Some of his theories match my own and I wonder what it would be like to live almost with nothing, work 6 weeks out of the year, and devote the rest of my time to study to avoid the evil that the commercial world inevitably offers.

3) Frugality is not always bad. I have been cooking more which has been nice. I love cooking and with my limited funding I have been forced to make a lot of things from scratch. The highlight of this week's cooking has been Extra Hot Buffalo Wing sauce. Okay, so it has been the high light for the past two weeks, but none the less it is fantastic! I can't even remember the last time I ate out.

I started riding the bus (obviously as stated above), since I get a free bus pass for being a student, and have loved ALMOST every minute of it. I get time to brush up on my studies on my way to school. I get to read the paper on the way home. I enjoy the scenery, including the cute hairy man that gets on the bus with me at the U and gets off somewhere in Sugarhouse.

Freeway drivers definitely hate me. On my drive to work, since that is the only time I ever drive my car, I stay in the right lane and never go over 55 MPH. Yes, the speed limit is 65 MPH. I am a jerk, but also just trying to conserve my gas. Vehicles always get better gas mileage when driving between 55-60 MPH, therefore I have fewer fill-ups. I really don't mind semi's passing me anymore, or getting stuck behind the really slow Uhaul truck drivers. In fact, I get excited when I am able to get behind them because they always go slower than the speed limit.


Despite my life-long worries, things are really great right now...

Reflection

I have been contemplating writing this blog or not, but I figured what the heck?

I love my life.

I have to keep reminding myself of that. I had to tell a few people at work today to not let me say anything like "I hate my life" or "kill me now" because in all reality, I have a fantastic life. I just have a crazy job that causes a lot of my emotional strife that unfortunately carries into my personal life. Despite the despair, heartache, frustrations, and incessant cussing going through my head all day while in my office, I still think that my current place of employment is one of the best opportunities I have had. It definitely is teaching me life lessons and what not to do when I have my own practice. Believe it or not, it is ALSO teaching me a few things that I should do too and who the real troopers are left in this world.

I love my family.

I don't have to remind myself of that because I am constantly being shown tender mercies through them. I have great parents and step-parents that treat me like I am the best thing that ever happened to them. I am still not sure as to why that is being that I am the biggest brat in the world. You can even ask my best friend that. She will agree. A few months ago, my step-dad, told my mom that he wanted to help pay for my tuition and books in hopes for me to get my education. My dad also agreed to help. Today, I found an abundance of money sitting in my bank account. Of course it will be gone within 24 hours to pay for my smarts, but to know that they would be willing to help me invest in my future is remarkable. I hope that I can pay them back every penny and more some day.

I love my friends.

For the past week I have gotten numerous texts and calls to make sure I was okay. I had a very rough week and with their love and support I am able to find myself sitting at my kitchen table, eating boneless buffalo wings (ok so it is really popcorn chicken with extra hot buffalo sauce smothered all over), with a dry eye, writing this blog with nothing but peaceful thoughts. Thank you my lovelies for asking me how I was doing and telling me to keep looking up.

Time to hit the books!

A Few New Insights

1) Watching an 18 year old girl and and a 25 year old boy flirt annoyingly while sitting in the front row (directly in front of me) at 7:21 AM is very IRRITATING!

2) Public transportation is a whole new world. You see/hear interesting people, view all the places you pass that you are unable to notice when driving a car, and realize that even bus drivers can have really bad road rage.

3) I really want to date a black man. They are ridiculously attractive.

4) I have no idea what the heck is going on in my philosophy class... help!

The Joys of College Life!

Today was the third day of school. I had my computer lab first thing this morning in a different building that I had never been in. I was already running late because I'm not used to my butt-crack of dawn schedule therefore getting out my front door was a bit of a challenge. More like, getting out of my bed was more of the challenge. I got to school, after watching the roads closely for cops and a speedometer rise and fall in between my freeway weaving, in a hurry to find this unknown class room. Upon my arrival to the parking lot I realized my class had already started.

I walked as fast as I could without running towards the direction I thought my class was though I really had no earthly idea. I was hoping to find those handy-dandy orientation helpers at their table with maps all ready to hand to the poor lost losery freshman such as my self. I quickly found a table of freshly printed maps along with a bright-eyed sophomore, after circling a few buildings trying to find it on my own, ready and willing to give me direction as to where my class was. She pointed me towards the building with the black windows and I went on my way. I walked to the first door I saw and of course it was locked. I found the next set of doors at the top of a brutal stair case that I hurriedly tried to walk up. I found my way inside only to realize I had another 4 flights of stairs to walk up being that my class is on the very top floor.

I reach the top and find my classroom a little way down the hall. I walk in the only available door and see 80 pairs of eyes all glancing at the lost girl walking into the classroom twenty five minutes late. Ignoring their stares, I try to find a seat fast in hopes to get the judgmental eyes out of my general direction. It was difficult to find a seat but as I neared the back, low and behold, I spotted one at the very end of the row. Of course, that required me to climb over 12 adults and block the view of twelve more behind me. Oops!

I sat down, looked around, and came to the conclusion that I am one out of six females in the entire class of 80 something people. This is going to be my favorite class by far!

Monday Morning

It is Monday morning and I am sitting here in my office all alone contemplating the sadness of what has become of my current situation. I miss my co-worker, Tyniece. I miss the fun atmosphere. I miss the drive in the air. Although, it is coming to an end, and I have other opportunities being placed before me, I can't help but be a little sad.

All weekend I have been feeling like it is the end of my life. A lot of circumstances have or already ended. For example, I was released from my calling, my housing contract is up, I am leaving my best friend, I will no longer have a job, my car is paid for as of this month, my Gold's Gym membership is up, my friend's are moving out of the ward, my computer broke, and many other events are over. I have been packing my stuff in boxes all weekend getting ready to move while thinking about my current state.

BUT THINGS ARE LOOKING UP! I signed a lease with my good friend, Becca Bates, for a really cute 2 bedroom apartment in Midvale. It has a wood burning fireplace, a great student ward, and I get the master bedroom! She gets the garage. I bought a laptop and am anxiously awaiting it's arrival to my front door. My step-dad added me to his health insurance since I am only 23, a full time student, and his favorite step-daughter. My parents have both offered to help me out with tuition, books, and some of my living expenses until I can get a job. I signed up for a couple really cool classes that I am excited about. I might buy a kingsize bed for my new apartment mainly because I want friends and family to visit a lot. I cleaned out my closet and a few other random places and have 2 1/2 large boxes ready for the DI. I got rid of more stuff that I had since sophomore year in high school. Becca and I picked out the ward we will be attending. It's super fun with lots of attractive men. Last but not least, I am starting over with a clean slate. I am changing everything about my atmosphere and though I am a little frightened, I am so excited!

It is going to be FANTASTIC!

Not Enough

I couldn't get it loud enough and definitely not long enough!

I popped a fantastic CD in my player on my way home from work tonight and couldn't seem to get it to play loud enough. Even though it was blaring in my ears and vibrations radiating off my body, it just was not loud enough nor was the song long enough. I kept turning it up and screaming at the top of my lungs to the words that I knew, but still it was not satisfying my craving. I wanted to feel the whole experience to be so much deeper. I was so obsessed with the replay of my selection of songs, that I purposely drove to a further Wendy's to pick up dinner in hopes to hear them a few more times before arriving home.

Man, I love music!